"laestadian, apostolic, gay, lgbtq, ex-oalc, ex-llc, llc, oalc, bunner" LEARNING TO LIVE FREE: Dance Like a Former Laestadian

Friday, September 19, 2014

Dance Like a Former Laestadian


"I grew up in a culture that does not permit dancing. Why, I can’t reasonably explain to you, but it was unacceptable so I never did it. I was uncomfortable moving my body, had no idea how to shake my hips, and didn’t know what to do with my hands. Armenians, on the other hand, love dancing. They dance at every occasion—for hours on end."
I've been meaning to post an excerpt from Traveling Ev's engaging post about her learning to dance while in the Peace Corps, but it slipped my mind until today's news story about the seven Iranians sentenced to six months in prison and 91 lashes for making a "Happy" dance video.

Seriously.

A Tehran court found the video "vulgar." (Watch it and judge for yourself.)

Then go to Ev's blog and read her story. I love how she is using her new skills in her new life, and am quite envious. One to four times a week?! I love Zumba, and dancing with my husband to live music, but neither are frequent occurrences. I need to work on that.

What was your first experience with dancing?



22 comments:

  1. I have never felt comfortable because of thinking it was a sin when I should have been dancing

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  2. What a great video, I could just feel the freedom involved in dancing. Never realized how making dancing a sin, takes away a huge freedom of expression. There are so many moments in our lives we should dance out of happiness or celebration. What a honor it is to dance!! No person should ever be stripped of those movements of joy.

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  3. The last time I sorta danced was like a Indian dance, I became very light footed and I started saying something like this.....oowwee.... oowwee. . Oowwee, then my beagle dog thought I was calling him and came and began to dance with me. Of course the day was extremely hot and so was the sand and the rocks. We finally got to the waters edge and jumped in. We used to dive in cold Lake Superior and always cry out, Bbluuee Bbaallies.

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  4. In the IFALC, the more liberal of the Lastidean churches, I remember roller skating at the get togethers across from the church occured up until the early 80's until a speaker got upset over the hokie pokie and couples skates being to worldy. Sheesh. Most of the parents still let the kids go with school friends, but no more official church skating.

    My parents, and many of my church friends parents would let us go to the school dances or teen night at the YMCA, with the understanding that we wouldn't actually dance. I tried of course, but always felt awkward and guilty.

    In High School I tried harder (to impress girls), and even went to the Sunday 16 and over nights at some area night clubs. I never knew what to do with my hands.

    What I found out from those awkward atempts was that I loved dancing (even badly) and I loved the loud music and temporary community of the night club, no matter how fleating. The ambition of everybody there is to enjoy themselves.

    I was determined, so I stood in front of the mirror and practiced. I had a wordly girlfriend who showed me what to do with my feet. I stood in front of the mirror and practicedsome more, and I realized the trick was that it is all in the hips, and once you get the hips moving, the feet and hands follow. I learned that you have to put a smile on your face and let go of being self concious, and that nobody else on the dance floor cares about you (much like life).

    I went off to college and beyond and became very accomplished at "clubbing". I still love to dance, but now I am older, grayer, and busy with family, so the chances are fewer and farther between.

    My old friends from the church who "sinned" with me scurried back to the church community and denounced our previous activities. I realized that is was all so arbitrary I couldn't live that way anymore.

    I think that coming from a religion that banned dancing, made it that much more fun for me in a small way.

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  5. I LOVE dancing. I don't do it well but I go often, i'm learning, I have fun and the people around me have fun as well.
    My daughter also loves to dance at home when she is happy but she gets yelled at by her oalc father to stop. It's really sad because she is just expressing her . When me and the kids are in the car going somewhere without him we turn the music up and have a blast bopping around to it. Soon we will be so free to do that in in our own home

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  6. My first dancing experience was at a high school dance, which I went to by telling my dad that I had to babysit. The boys walked in a circle and the girls danced in the middle of the circle. It was too funny. I was worried the whole while that I would get caught. I left the church after high school and enjoyed dancing whenever I could. I still live in a large apostolic area. My family has many non Apostolics now. When we have weddings, the OALC people will sit in chairs facing the dance floor and watch. My son, loved to dance, until one of his apostolic cousins told him he looked dumb. That was. of course, because he was not allowed to dance. He could only watch. I was told when I was very young that dancing is a sin because the boys will get "thoughts" about us girls shaking our butts. It is funny to think of that comment, while watching the OALC church members line up their chairs watching the rest of us. I would love to be in their heads, if for a minute, to know their thoughts. The Bible says that there is a time to dance. So, lets dance!! I should do it more often myself!!

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  7. I love dancing. Such a ridiculous thing to "outlaw"! It's so freeing. I used to do the club thing but now I'm happy with Zumba and dance classes.


    Thank you for this blog. I felt so alone in my first years away from llc. It seemed like no one left back then. I wish I would have had something like this so I could hear from others like me! I had to forge my own path and I'm so much better for it now. Sometimes it just kills me how family members can turn away from you because of religion.

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    1. I left the LLC back in 1988 before many people had left. I was pretty lonely for a number of years. Things are better now fortunately!

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    2. I am posting under my real name because I have no fear left that the LLC crowd would not approve. I finally found my voice after battling cancer last year and it feels like the most marvelous sense of freedom.

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    3. That's wonderful, Barbara. I'm glad you found your voice and are enjoying your freedom.

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  8. Thanks for reading and commenting. I've been taking a break but will try to post again soon. Any topics people would like to explore?
    --Free

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    1. Free, per <a href="http://extoots.blogspot.com/2012/05/fighting-words.html?showComment=1416580566326#c8717723296103483574</a>, I think it'd be really interesting to examine the conceptions/misconceptions we all have about the other Laestadian faiths. So similar. Yet so damned to hell.

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    2. I feel this has been done quite a lot in previous threads. Is there new territory you want to explore specifically?

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  9. Free....let's have people discuss the biggest and most notorious gossip in their church and the effect it has had on the congregation. Old AP

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    1. I can't imagine how that would help anyone, Old AP. Persuade me otherwise. :-)

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  10. Yes indeed examine why others are damned to hell. I did and concluded the root is rotten.

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  11. Topic suggestions:
    1) Notorious gossip - yes, great idea. I can think of a few.
    2) Misconceptions/rumors about other Laestadian faiths. I have a couple of good stories.

    3) Coping mechanisms for seeing your Laestadian family during the holidays. Sometimes I don't want to share anything about my life because of the way it is picked apart after the time spent with my family...how do I know? They've done it in front of my own kids, who have told me. What to do when one of your parents or other family members try to steer the conversation ship to touchy subjects, and you try to steer them away, and your whole conversations become disjointed?

    --Punahilkka

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    1. Thank you for suggesting a great topic -- I would love to see this blog include more practicel assistance to those who are seeking it.

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  12. It's almost impossible to measure the damage that the Laestadian movment religion has caused their own flesh and blood. .It's been 40 years of grief for me. And you don't get those years back.



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    1. I'm so sorry for those years of grief. That is a long time. I hope you are relishing your good life now!

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  13. How about, at this time of year -- a time of Thanksgiving and Peace -- we reflect for a change on what we remember with fondness and are thankful for from our upbringing? I know that not all my memories are bitter ones -- many are very, very good as a matter of fact. Let's put the bad memories aside for just a little while and reflect on good things -- and allow the sunshine of the Lord to fall around us. I know that I am slow to praise the Lord for the goodness in my life, and remiss in thanking the Lord for allowing me to carry a small and really very light cross at times, even though I do believe that he has a purpose in that as well.

    Bless the Lord, O my soul, and all that is in me, bless His holy name.

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    1. An attitude of gratitude is a sure sign of healed wounds. May we all get there.

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